Today is a BIG day for me. One of the biggest days of my life. In order for you to really understand, I have to tell you a little back story.
In July of 2019 after years of feeling a consistent pull to walk away from my very secure, good paying (excellent benefits) corporate career, I finally did it! I put in my 2 week notice on my eighth year anniversary and felt like I was on cloud 9! I was FINALLY going to start fully stepping into my ‘bigger’ purpose. At that time I was working part time for Rachel O’Rourke (as her EA) & I was doing some other business strategist work from another beautiful woman that I was going to continue doing. I wasn’t sure what else I was going to do, but I KNEW that I needed to take this leap and I had full faith that the Universe would deliver signs to me to show me my way.
The Universe definitely had something even more magical in store for me then I had dreamt (well, it was everything that I DID dream and much, much more). I was asked to become the Director Of Operations for SPARK Personal Growth Experiences- full time, effective August 1 2019. This wasn’t something I had been imagining and while I celebrated big time, I had a moment of struggle because I felt like this was finally MY time… my time to focus solely on my purpose- to stop being told what to do, to stop thinking about what I could accomplish and instead to simply BECOME. Become my highest self. To use my most divine gifts. Take long moments of pause (meditation) and become open to receive messages from source energy and take immediate, inspired action without hesitation. No blocks. No other focuses. To follow MY dreams!
I quickly threw myself into SPARK. I lived and breathed SPARK. I felt in alignment and I fell in love with the mission. SPARK became my dream! I envisioned what SPARK could be- all the women SPARK energy could touch, and how it could change their lives. As much as I loved SPARK, SPARK simply wasn’t mine. And this, at times, was extremely hard for me to process. I felt it could be taken away from me at any point and that scared me. July 1st 2020 after months of feeling a ‘change’, that essentially happened (read actual details in my previous blog HERE)
When I learned that SPARK would no longer be, I was faced with one of the biggest decisions of my life. I could A.) walk away from our extraordinary community or B.) I could start my own business, become a CEO, and lead this group of women. In that moment, and all of the moments between then and now I have never been so sure of a decision. I have never felt so completely in alignment with zero hesitations. I am able to see now WHY everything that I have gone through, throughout my life needed to happen to me because it happened FOR me to become the human I am today. To become a woman who is compassionate, resilient, strong, loving, empathetic, honest, courageous open minded, ambitious, and curious.. but I needed to become hurt, abused, broken, depressed, anxiety ridden, abandoned, and hopeless in order to truly SEE so many women in their darkest of seasons and say, “me too”. I needed to go through every single character building moment that I endured so that I could understand how to stand in my integrity. I needed to experience all of the parts of my journey so I could meet women throughout every part of their journey and lend a hand, an ear, a space for silence.. to give advice, encouragement and let them know that life can look however they dream for it to- and to share my story as a source of inspiration to instill belief in themselves.
In 2013 I started my personal growth journey. This last year I have seen/felt exponential self growth. I have spoken on stages, created my Gratitude & Forgiveness course, and started coaching women 1:1 on how to cultivate the capacity to truly forgive, while teaching how to embody gratitude! That is when I started really feeling in alignment with what was to come in the future- I was shining a light on my divine gifts and connecting in such a deeper way, I was doing SOUL-fulfilling work on my own. In July I hosted my first mastermind on my own and watched these ladies come together and within the first couple of weeks share truths that they had never shared before until then, because they felt so SAFE and HELD by the sister around them in this container that we had created ONLINE.. wow!!… that in itself has been such a magical experience for me!
I sit here today writing this, with so much divine confirmation on what my purpose is. 1.) to continuously grow into my best, truest, highest self. 2.) be the best mom I can personally be for my children. 3.) lead a community of humans (who identify as female) on their own personal growth journeys – to create a space that is safe, welcoming, intimate, trusting, inclusive, vulnerable, sacred, and filled with such a beautiful energy that allows for these women to become sisters, through & through. This is why I have spent this year learning how to protect my energy while still being able to generate enough energy to give to others. This is why I have spent so much time releasing blocks that kept me from playing small, questioning my worth, and not being able to fully find my voice. This is why I have felt such a powerful energy telling me to invest in myself in ways I never had before. Now I understand – looking back- now I know the answers to so many questions. I have so much appreciation for all that has been, all that is, and all that will be!
Today, I woke up a CEO, only working for myself, to serve others the BEST way that I know how. Today I woke up feeling like my BEST self. Gosh, I wish I could go back to Janelle at 11 years old or Janelle at 16, 21, or 26 years old and I could say, “Hey, I know life is really challenging right now, I know you feel alone and confused and sad. I know you are scared. It’s okay to feel those feelings, but there will come a day when life will feel as magical as your grandest dreams! You will be loved and supported and protected. You will be so happy and you will be free!” – I will tell her, in my mind… I will go to her and I will tell her I will hold space for her, always. Today, I woke up with a grateful heart and I will lead with love and with joy!