If you ask my children who their mom loves the most, they will both say “Herself” because that’s the truth. I love myself the most! It hasn’t always been this way. There were many, many years where I had very little love for myself. I put everyone else and their needs before mine. I lacked confidence, I battled depression and I put on a “show” for those around me. While I suffered in silence, so did those who were the closest to me because they could feel it and see it, no matter how hard I tried to shelter them from it.
In 2013 I decided to stop living that life. I changed my mindset, my attitude, and my life course. I started to fall in love with myself and put myself first. When you’re a mom, it’s hard to make yourself number one because you feel bad. Have you ever been on an airplane when the flight attendant tells you that, in the case of an emergency, put your air mask on first then your children’s. Why? Because you simply cannot help them if you aren’t alive to do so. Hard to think of? Sure. Life isn’t always easy. But the truth is, it’s not selfish to love yourself first as a mom or just as a woman, it’s selfless. When you’re in love with who you are, it radiates out of you and this light shines onto others! Self love makes you happier and healthier, and therefore you are able to give more and more!! THAT is a gift in itself! If you ask my children who they love the most, they will reply “Myself!” with pride. And that is one of my biggest accomplishments as a Mom.
Ways to practice self love:
♡ Bubble bath
♡ Conversation with a good friend
♡ Breath work
♡ Watching your favorite movie
♡ Reading a good book, or listening to a good Podcast
Another very important form of self love: saying NO. It’s okay to say no without an explanation. It’s okay to change your mind. It’s okay to not want to do something just because you don’t want to. “I don’t want to” is always acceptable. If you are feeling guilty for backing out of plans then you need to ask yourself why you feel guilty. If you are constantly saying yes then lying to get out of plans, you should probably think about not saying yes all of the time. That’s just as much of a problem as being an asshole. Real friends won’t judge you for saying “I am going to pass, but that you for inviting me” or “Gosh, I really just want to sit in my sweat pants all day and watch Netflix”. Stop apologizing. Stop making excuses. Stop overly accepting invitations and stop trying to please everyone. Listen, if you make a commitment and you have someone who is depending on you, then you really need to ask yourself specific questions like: Why am I wanting to back out? What will this mean for the person depending on me? Can I get someone to fill in for me? Can I make this up to them at a later time? At the end of the day, we need to show up for ourselves first, and pour into our figurative cup. Then, we can add to the lives of those around us!
Go love yourself!